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10 Types of Toxic Relationships in Your Workspace

Often one would like to ask about business partner compatibility, or in matter a fact, just compatibility in general, especially when one is to work with their spouse, best friend or family. It is true that working with people who you like in your personal life, if an easier choice and convenient. But, I will always ask one question –

“What do you want to achieve over this partnership?”

Most answers would turn out to be ” Someone who is easy to work with”

My next question will then be “Regardless of whether this person can deliver a good result for the business?”

And, then most of them will end up, rethinking …..

It’s not that you should be judgemental over people, but your resources have to be managed well. We do not want to spend time, energy and resources on those who will drag and drain you. Some of you might think that you need to spend time with people who are skilful or intelligent. Yes, it is true, BUT….. its not necessarily going to create a favourable result.

Who you should be working with and not working with? Unfortunately, it is never always about the skillset and ability. Sometimes, you’re just being triggered in another way with another person. In BaZi or in Chinese Metaphysics per say, there is this thing we call affinity. And because everyone is different…In here, we are going to refer to the 10 Day Masters, and identify, which Day Masters will not be beneficial for them..

But first, to know your Day Masters, you can plot your chart here:

  1. Jia Dm + Yi Dm:

Tree, Trunk, Plant, Liana, Creeping

Creeping plant

  1. Jia wood doesn’t respond well to Yi wood, because Yi will tend to stick to Jia, like a plant creeping on a tree, sharing its resources. We can also describe this type of relationship towards like a “Parasite” like. As a consequence, Jia will be drained and be overly responsible for Yi.

2. Yi Dm+ Ding Dm

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Burning leaves

  1. In this relationship, we can consider this like a self sacrificing relationship. Imagine, a bush of plants , Yi wood going towards a huge fire, many match sticks. Yi wood, need to be careful to fall in order to not into self sacrifice or destructive, when together with Ding Fire. If you’re a Ding Fire, and you’re in a relationship together with a Yi Wood, just be more aware of the enthusiasm that you tend to give to your Yi. Too much fire, will look like a burning forest. Once it is spread, it spread very quickly and difficult to safe.

3. Bing Dm + Gui Dm

Sky, Light, Cloudy, Miracle, Beauty

Blocked sun

  1. When Bing, which is the sun, comes together with Gui the cloud, the Sun can’t be seen, because it is being covered by the cloud. If we translate them to real life application, it can meet if 2 person ; a Bing and a Gui on stage, most people will be paying attention on the Gui, rather than Bing. Gui water, will take away the fame with the Bing. Although, they can work together, but not much effect or create any result. It reduces the effectiveness of the Bing DM. So, Gui is dampening Bing’s effect as the Sun.

4. Ding Dm + Jia Dm

Forest, Fire, Blaze, Smoke, Trees, Heat, Burning, Hot

Burning forest

  1. It creates a fire 🔥 situation. It’s easier to burn when many tress are together. In real life application, the Ding Fire person, will be negatively impacted due to its over confidence as the fire grows bigger. It will create a lot of negative effect to themselves and also other people around them, just like how one burning tree will affect another.

5. Wu Dm + Ren Dm

Breaking the dam

  1. Wu DM must be aware with Ren water DM people. Not that Ren DM people have bad intentions, your nature are different. Ren DM wants to move and Wu DM doesn’t want to move. So imagine, like breaking of a damp. So this interaction usually creates blockage and then destruction. So at this case, the Wu DM will not be happy at all. 6. Ji Dm + Bing Dm

Desert, Cactus, Sunset, Pinwheel

Dry land

  1. When Ji DM, meets Bing DM, Ji DM person will turn into a desert. Because it is being “dried” up by the Bing DM person. If you are a Ji DM, you are only useful useful when they are moist, because your true nature is to nourish, and nourishment needs water. But with a hot Sun, which is Bing, you wi;; be over exposed. To put it in context, imagine, a generous Bing fire guy, is over-promoting a Ji Earth person, who tends to give a lot. Which at the end of the day, the Ji earth will be exhausted. This relationship can also be known as being “over-exploited”

7. Geng Dm + Wu Dm

  1. Imagine when a Metal DM meets a Wu DM, who over protects it. Its like a sword, being protected and stuck on the earth surface, and the sword will become a rusting Sword. as such, the Geng DM, is unable to exert the usefulness as a sword. Translating it into a real life situation, Geng DM, which is often protected by its mother figure, which is a Wu DM, will not end up manifesting its true potential and unable to have its ability to be useful for the society. Because, naturally, a Geng DM is supposed to become sharp and be a strong attacking person.

8. Xin Dm + Xin Dm

Smoke And Mirrors, Magic, Explosion

mirror mirror on the wall

  1. Xin DM by nature likes the limelight, therefore if they ever encounter similar type of person, who also likes the limelight , they will not like it. Yes, they don’t like to share the stage with people. Just like being a diamond, they don’t shine, when they share platform. They will create competition of attention, and they won’t and don’t work with competition.

9. Ren Dm + Ji Dm

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  1. You do not want to be a power drunk person. Imagine a mud slide. Ren water is very forceful, and imagine them combining with mud, which is the Ji earth. If we translate that to real life scenarios, the Ren DM person can be unclear when they are given power. Being too much power , and can not control the.

10. Gui Dm + Geng Dm


  1. Gui is like the mist, and imagine having a misty condition, and at every metal surface, there will be condensation. In here, we can it feels like a trapping issue. The Gui water lose their independence and freedom with Geng When the Geng is around, the Gui lose their direction, ability to go whatever they go.

Now that you understand more about how and why certain working relationships, or partnership just doesn’t work despite having the best intention. Its purely because affinity and characters are different. However, despite all have been said, it is quite difficult to avoid working with certain people or be picky.

Therefore, the lesson in here is to learn be to be more aware of others uniqueness , understand where they are coming from and be compassionate. From there, we can make conscious action or be proactive in managing or solving a relationship or partnership problem. If some partnership doesn’t workout, don’t take it too personal

Peace with Demons - Jodi Klugman-Rabb, LMFT - Medium

Make peace with others

It is also applicable at your own BaZi chart. Or when you want to compare yourself with another person.

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